Weddings

Today was a very long day! I only have four hours of French instead of five, but I joined with the students from the University of Wisconsin for a 5 hour cultural orientation. A lot of the things that were covered I had already discovered on my own, but I did learn more. Lunch was served the traditional Senegalese way… in big communal bowls and we had to eat with our hands… I must say it's much harder than it looks. I'd try to paraphrase everything but I wouldn't do a lot of it justice. But for today, I'll recap what I learned about weddings. The two people getting married do not attend their own ceremony. Only family members attend the ceremony. This means that Senegalese people can get married even when they're out of the country. The man may live in the United States and the woman in Italy, but their parents can hold the ceremony in Senegal and they will be officially married. Even if the couple is in the country, both the bride and groom are not allowed to attend the ceremony. While the prayers of the ceremony take place, the woman is in a different location seated with her head covered. This custom shows how important the family is here, because it's looked at as not just two people getting married but two families getting married. One of the Wisconsin students said what a surprise it would be if a Senegalese person was out of the country and their parents called to tell them that a ceremony was held that day for the person's marriage without their knowledge or consent. The man giving the presentation laughed and said "yes, it happens." But then he said "But it's just as surprising for two Americans to leave the state or country and decide on a whim to get married to each other while traveling and to call home and say 'Hey, we're married.'" For many Senegalese the importance of the family is equal to and often more important than the individual.

This morning in my French class my professor was also telling me about the importance of family here. If someone has a problem, any type of problem, the family tries to solve it for them. It is not unusual for family members to call or show up late at night at someone's door with a problem that they need to talk about right then. The family member is then obliged to wake up, or stay up, and help them with their problem. A family member is not just of the immediate family, but of extended family, close friends, and close neighbors. In Senegal, those are all equal family. Often close friends or friend's children are introduced as siblings or their own children. People here are respected according to the size of their family network. It's visible in the death announcements that list every possible relation, and marriage invitations that also list every possible relation before ever getting to the name of the two people actually getting married.

My classes finally finished at 6:30pm. On the way home I stopped by the apartment of a Senegalese friend of mine and ended up staying there until 11pm. We just chilled and watched TV and talked and I got my homework done. It was a nice change of location for me. There was actually air conditioning, but the apartment was still over 80 degrees. And, like all Senegalese houses/apartments, there was a steady stream of friends and relatives in and out the door. My Rotary host counselor was one of the many people who stopped by. He managed to break his foot playing golf on Saturday, but aside from that all is well. I also ate some kind of Senegalese food, I don't remember the name of it now, that resembled and tasted a lot like a samosa. It was so good!